I hate restarting.

It's something I've been avoiding. Something I haven't wanted to admit.

However, it's finally time to do something about it rather than lay back and let all my good habits die. Time to get off the fat couch and get back to work.

I weighed myself at the gym yesterday. Honestly, it's been months since I've weighed in. I'm thinking maybe early June? And, then, the scale was screwed up because of the flood at my gym. At any rate, the last time I jumped on a scale, I was flitting between 154 and 155. The same weight I've been plateaued at for over a year.

But yesterday, dreadful yesterday, the truth confronted me harsher than an unheated outdoor Wisconsin pool in May (and that's pretty damn harsh!).

158.

Yep. 158.

If you delve back through my journals, I think the last time I was at 158, was like April, 1999! So, even though it's only three pounds -- it's quite a slide considering I've maintained 155 so steadily for the past year.

Ugh.

I hate to fail. I hate setbacks. I hate not succeeding.

And, deep down, I wonder if even this has a little to do with my icky feelings about workstuff. Setbacks. Failing. General Unhappiness. But that's another entry for another day. Today's about the weight and nutrition and exercise and all the things I should be doing for myself.

So, before I start coming up with plans and lists and goals and whatnot, I suppose it's more important to pinpoint the problem.

Well, I moved.

That changed.

My exercise schedule. That changed, too.

Oh, and my dietary intake. Okay, okay. That's changed as well.

Well.... DUH!

You're probably well aware that I was a very regular morning workout person in the past. There were weeks when I made the 6am gym call every day, Monday through Friday. It made sense -- working out in the mornings. My commute was 30 minutes and the gym was smack dab between home and work. I'd get up, grab my gear, hit the gym, shower and continue on to work.

But then we did this magical (and I'm beginning to think, evil) thing.

We moved to Madison.

And not only did we move to Madison, but we moved within 5 MINUTES of my work.

Oh baby.

Who knew you could sleep until 7am and still make it to work at 8? In all of my six years of professional life, I've never done this. And the morning gym routine started to sound more like a drag. I mean, who in their right mind would drive 15 or 20 minutes to the gym just to drive 15 or 20 minutes back to work when my total commute time COULD BE 5 minutes?

Of course, in exchange for those 30 minutes of drive time, I've been working out in the evenings. And somehow, I find those evening workouts easier to miss.

Now don't get me wrong, I haven't been skipping working out all together. I've still been averaging 4 hours per week. But my weight training has gone from a steady 2-3xs per week to a measly 1 (and last week I didn't do ANY!). And, frankly, I'm starting to believe that evening cardio just isn't as effective as AM cardio.

It could all be a myth, you know. The AM vs. PM cardio debate. But my recent setback has been leading me to wonder if there is some validation in it. I've read from a few sources that when you work out in the morning, before eating, that you burn more fat because your body's already burned the reserved glycogen during the night. However, when you do a PM cardio workout, you're body has built back a glycogen reserve and you burn that during the first 30 minutes or so of cardio.

I'm not saying THAT'S the brunt of my problems. But it COULD be a contributing factor. And regardless of whether or not it's true, statistics do show that people who work out in the AM stick with it longer, are more dedicated and sleep better.

So, what I'm really getting at here is that I think I should get back to my morning routine regardless of how nice the new commute is. And even though I feel I'm wasting 30 minutes of drive time in the morning, I'll still be doing it at night and I'm not getting the "evening" time that I once used to relish. There is something to be said about getting home at 5:30pm and knowing you don't have to workout. You can clean, organize, cook, read, whatever.

I sort of made this decision to try and get back to my morning routine this past weekend. I had a feeling I was back tracking. So, I attended James' 5:45am spinning class yesterday. That's when I weighed myself and my suspicions where confirmed. Therefore, my plans were to keep up with it this morning.

And ironically (or maybe not so ironically), I couldn't sleep last night.

Gafaaaaah!

You gotta hate that. You know you need to get up at 5am and yet there you are, laying in bed: 10pm, 11pm, 12am... I got up and tried the couch. I got back up and tried the bed again. Finally, around 1am (after a glass of milk and a bowel movement), I got back on the couch and finally fell asleep. And there was NO getting up at 5am a scant four hours later.

So, even though is an entry of "what I'm going to do to get better," it's an entry of failure and not just of the past few weeks, but this morning as well. So, tonight, I'm "making up" by going to an interval class at the gym and, hopefully, can fall asleep at my normal bedtime to arise tomorrow morning and resume my routine.

That's my plan at least.

So, what else...

YIKERS! STUPID FREESERVERS.COM ATE THE LAST PART OF THIS ENTRY AND I DIDN'T REALIZE IT BEFORE DELETING THE ORIGINAL. AND, FRANKLY, I CAN'T REMENBER HOW I FINISHED IT. SORRY.

Actually, I think I did end it by saying I've restarted my food journal, I'm once again concentrating on water intake and I'm limiting my alcohol to weekends only. And honestly, I'm doing pretty good thus far considering this note is being written a few days later. So read ahead. Hopefully, my newer journal entries have survived!